I am never knitting anything that requires a face again.
I just used the large majority of a brand new skein of brown embroidery floss (8.7 yards/meters) miserably making two pathetic beady eyes and some whiskers that insist on pointing in all the wrong directions.
I wish I could say that was where my bunny drama started.
Spearmint the Bunny (free pattern!) and I met a couple Easters back when my beloved knitting friend brought a couple adorable versions to work to share. I considered making Spearmint last Easter but passed, as I was absorbed in finishing my Twist Cowl. Instead, I filled the Easter basket with stuff from the store. You know, like normal people do. Wise woman (
This year I figured what the hek. Surely this TEENY TINY bunny will only take 20 minutes.
Cast on with the scrap from my Woolfolk dream cowl (pattern still unnamed…) Knit legs, body, and ears. This required only one minor ripping when I realized I made a slight goof. Three hours of knitting.
Sew on ears. Knit arms. Sew sweater body. Put teeny tiny sweater on bunny to realize bunny body is wwwwaaaayyyy too short. Sweater is like a bunny dress. Could work. If I attach the arms next to the legs and smoosh the pom pom tail in the same general vicinity. Three (maybe four!) more hours of knitting in, I go to bed thinking scerw it. Bunny dress it is.
Next year I am going to Target for Easter. You know, like NORMAL people.
Hours of deliberation. Decide bunny dress simply won’t due.
Time for bunny surgery.
Cut off bunny ears. Rip back. Add in the 20 rows I clearly missed in the instructions. This is where I swear my wine consumption on the night the error occurred was limited to one single glass. Apparently that’s all it takes with me these days.
I try on bunny sweater a second time, with new and improved bunny body of increased length. NO WINE HAS BEEN CONSUMED. NOT ONE DROP. (I think.)
Bunny body is TOO long. More like white/grey bunny carrot/missile. This is God getting back at me for being a heathen, heretic, and all kinds of other blasphemous nouns…He knows I am no saint and only like Easter for all the chocolate I have been secretly shoveling into my mouth at breakneck speed all. week. long.
Even prayer can’t help me now.
Three more hours of knitting in.
Good enough. Bunny carrot/missile it is. Go to bed. Surely Reed will never know the difference.
Go to work. Show coworker bunny carrot/missile. She is clearly not impressed (bless her heart). Decide bunny carrot/missile won’t do.
Consider cutting off ears (again) and ripping (again) to shorten bunny body to proper length.
Consider cutting mid-drift of bunny body to shorten…then graft.
Decide to give bunny tummy tuck (fold knitted fabric over itself and tack). Hide “scar” under bunny sweater.
Easy enough fix.
Complete tummy tuck. Finish arms for sweater. Make pom pom tail (not pictured, but awfully cute…I must say).
Now I need a face.
I will say this: I tried my best. I really did.
Three more hours of knitting in.
Here I am, nine (or more!) hours into this dratted little Spearmint. I calculate this at a value of no less than $300 in labor alone.
I could have knit a shawl. Or a something. Other than this goofy little bunny that I really hope Reed will like, although I can already picture the poor little thing (Spearmint, not Reed) being dragged through mud puddles, hooked with fishing tackle, and crammed into the bottom of one unmentionable hoarder-style Paw Patrol back pack along with bits of string and crumpled bandaids.
Spearmint certainly did not take 20 minutes. Although nothing ever does. Not even the “quick” hat.
However, if you are inspired to knit your own Easter something or other, be sure to check out my obsessively curated collection of project ideas on my Pinterest Easter Board. There’s still time!