How I Survived My Little Sewing Project

If you are anything at all like me–a knitter who absolutely sucks at sewing and possesses not a single lick of aspiration to become an accomplished seamstress anytime soon–there is only one possible solution.

Get someone else to do it.

Should you ever find yourself in a position like I did, having searched Etsy and Amazon for oilcloth pennant flagging (how can someone not be making and selling these things on Etsy?!?), and subsequently convinced by your girlfriends to just make your own.

They say: it’s easy.

Sadly, you are gullible and easily convinced.

You proceed to search the three fabric shops in driving distance (an hour’s drive, mind you), to find they don’t even carry oilcloth. At least not what you had in mind.

This only means one thing: order online.

Before you know it, you’ve ordered five yards of oilcloth (1/2 yard minimum). This is enough oilcloth to make a pennant flag from California to the Statue of Liberty.

That’s when it hits you: you are screwed.

So when you are at the weekly playgroup, pretending not to notice all the little, adorable children flinging sand and playing sword fighting with over sized bubble wands, of course you mention in passing your inspired project to add decor to your son’s under-construction fort to another mom. (Your son’s fort was inspired by her daughter’s fort, so the sharing was innocent. Truly.)

Then it happens. The clouds part. The sun shines down. Come on by. We can work on it together.

Oh. By the way. This mom just happens to be a professional seamstress? Yep. She sews. For a living. Complete with an entire studio full of sewing machines.

All your nightmares of dragging the sewing machine down from the top shelf in the garage and the inevitable hours you would have spent cussing and crying just trying to remember how to thread the darn bobbin disappeared. Just like that.

You make a date.  You cut together. She sews (alone). And the flags are made. Some for your son’s fort. And some for her daughter’s fort. You have a hero for the day (week/year/decade).

Everyone is happy. The flags come out wonderfully. There are no tears.

The knitter can stick to knitting. Without the distraction of other hobbies and crafts.

Focus must be maintained. At all times.


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