Hand knit baby hat in Madelinetosh Tosh Merino Light. With just the perfect amount of lace and a faux-picot brim.

Apparently being sleep deprived when Reed first born was more impacting than I realized. I thought I had it together back in that first year of Never Sleep Ever. But I didn’t.

As evidenced by actual written text that I myself typed roughly three years ago, my brain was not at all functional. I just thought it was.

You know what that is?

I’ll tell you: DELUSION.

A couple of months ago, I finally got it together to knit Ginny’s baby shower gift. Yes, that child was born eons ago, but, hey, better late than never? I was puttering about Ravelry looking for a suitable baby hat, no longer needing a newborn size as the child may be older than one by the time I pull this off.

Anyway, there I am on Ravelry when it hits me. Wait a minute. I don’t need a pattern for a baby girl hat. I HAVE a pattern for a baby girl hat that I already wrote and offer for free on Ravelry. I will use that.

Brilliant, right?

I dig out some Madelinetosh Tosh Merino Light scraps and figure I can adjust gauge. The original version was knit in Baby Boo, and, well, I don’t really care for Baby Boo much anymore.

I’m already writing my little card to Ginny in my head. Dear Ginny, Sorry this is three four five six? months late. But, isn’t it great?!?!  Love, Me.

Except…it didn’t take me long to realize my original pattern SUCKED. Like, REALLY TRULY SUCKED KNITTING ARSE. Embarrassingly so. Even giving away this pattern for FREE as I had been doing was like a crime against knitters everywhere.

Truly, my heart goes out to any poor fool who downloaded this free pattern and actually tried to knit the thing. I AM SORRY! I should be paying you for pain and suffering. Wow.

First, there were all these k4togs everywhere. I was actually so incredibly exhausted and dysfunctional as a new mother that I thought knitting four stitches together over and over again was a good idea.

And there were math errors that I had made in conversion of one size to another.

AND, all kinds of other things I am too ashamed to tell you about. IT WAS BAD.

A few months ago, someone even messaged me on Ravelry and politely asked about a potential error in the pattern. I actually opened the pattern, looked at it, and messaged back that all was well. Uh, if this poor soul is out there right now, reading this and thinking Hey, that was me. I hate that lady, I am SO INCREDIBLY SORRY.

You will be happy to know I have reworked the pattern*. I got rid of those stupid k4togs. They are now k3togs, which is more manageable although still loathed by many. I adjusted the stitch pattern a bit so it is a wee less lacy…and I fixed all the math. With a little luck, the pattern will go off to the tech editor THIS WEEK. My tech editor, who I obviously wasn’t clever enough to know I REALLY NEEDED those years back will DOUBLE CHECK everything so I can rest assured that the release of the corrected and updated pattern will not ruin anyone’s life.

At least not for reasons that are my fault.

After that, I just have to track down a cute baby model to confirm that it actually fits a human of the appropriate age and size. I have one such tiny human in mind. I just have to catch her when she is awake and in a good mood. Not always easy for these cute babies!

Then…and only then…this pattern will be released for FREE to all of my subscribers. I am attempting redemption of my knitting karma from this treacherous woolful sin that I committed, good intentions and all. I am hopeful this will happen in the next month!

If you aren’t already a subscriber and you are interested in receiving this FREE pattern, sign up today. I will never share your email and will only occasionally (rarely) email you anything other than regular blog posts.

And, Ginny, if you are reading this, little Mabel will hopefully have a new hat before 2020. Emphasis on hopefully.

Love to all and may the knitting spirits be generous with my tormented, now slightly less sleep-deprived soul.

As always, I am joining the Yarn Along this week and still reading A Man Called Ove . Apparently I don’t make as much reading progress with a real book vs. an E-book. Kind of sad.

*On the upside, it is slightly comforting to see how far my knitting and photography have come over these past several years. I’m making progress. Slowly.

**Affiliate link. Thank you for being you!

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  • Reply Little Church Knits August 31, 2016 at 4:29 am

    Is this what they call “baby brain”?? Glad to hear that it passes!

  • Reply pumpkin sunrise August 31, 2016 at 5:31 am

    I find I have faulty thinking late at night and I wish I could blame it on baby brain!! lovely knits 🙂

  • Reply Alina August 31, 2016 at 5:35 am

    Andrea, I am in love with your writing! I can always count on a big smile on my face when I visit you 🙂

  • Reply Kat with a K August 31, 2016 at 5:39 am

    Beautiful post, Andrea! I remember those sleep deprived nights of little children, and I am reminded of the sleep deprived nights of menopause. One is far sweeter than the other, savor these days XO

  • Reply vann54 August 31, 2016 at 5:58 am

    Sleep deprivation for new moms is real, but sometimes it just hangs on, do give yourself a break and take care 🙂

  • Reply Carmen N August 31, 2016 at 6:52 am

    This makes me afraid to go back and visit my first patterns. I usually had them tested (free or not) but it wasn’t until this year I found a wonderful tech editor. She’s been invaluable for making my patterns not only virtually error-free but also insuring they make sense!

  • Reply Joy August 31, 2016 at 8:38 am

    I chuckled so much reading. That baby brain fog is no joke. I would comfort myself with how your skills have progressed over time…okay, I literally snorted at the line about the k4tog.

  • Reply Sierra August 31, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    It’s kind of like going back and looking at our first knitting project, they kind of make you flinch. So funny to read though, hopefully you get some good solid sleep soon!

  • Reply itsallaboutpurple August 31, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    You are a brilliant knitter, much more experienced and knowledgeable than I!! There were so many years that I didn’t sleep. Now my children are grown and gone and I can sleep and nap whenever I want to….and I love it. As always, I enjoyed this and had a few really good laughs!!

  • Reply Stefanie August 31, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    Hey, it’s a learning process. Obviously you wrote that up long ago and had no idea as it hadn’t been revisited for quite some time. It’s “fixed” and will be triple checked. All good.

  • Reply Julie Crawford September 2, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    oh man, baby brain is so real! the fractured sleep cycles totally impact our ability to make sense of anything, both receiving info and giving it! I’m sure the hat is going to all work out!

  • Reply Kat September 2, 2016 at 6:17 pm

    Sometimes we commit these internet crimes. You’re busy spreading a dysfunctional hat pattern across the yarn community, one of the most popular posts on my blog is my recipe for Cilantro Lime Tilapia which is hilarious because it’s not a recipe and also because I hate the taste of tilapia (love all other fish) and think it should be thrown in the trash. LOLOL. Love it and the story behind it.

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