Why Tire Stores Should Offer Wine

Mistakes that can occur while knitting short rows.

  1. Plan to go jogging during lunch break.
  2. Decided instead to go jogging after work while getting tires rotated. Both activities are long overdue.
  3. Further decide: screw that. Why jog when you can knit while waiting for tires to get rotated? Let’s get real here.
  4. Recommence short rows on your little purple shawl project while happily listing to NPR’s The Moth podcast via headphones. Pure delight. After several more short rows, you notice your poor, little shawl looks particularly lopsided.
  5. Count stitches on both sides of short rows. Cry a little bit. Okay, cry a lot. Conclude shawl is indeed very lopsided. The same number of stitches are not present on either end, as should be the case*. Something has gone dreadfully wrong. Brief period of pure knitting (tire store) bliss has sadly and prematurely concluded. Additionally: exercise has STILL not occurred. Desperately glance around waiting room for wine. Vending machines offer no wine**. Your only option is stale, over-buttered popcorn. In short, you are screwed.
  6. Snap commemorative picture prior to tinking. This may be the last time your shawl exists as something other than a knotted ball of yarn.
  7. Begin to tink. Quickly, you find yourself questioning your sanity. Tinking back three hours of short rows will clearly take forever (longer than three hours). Bravery/insanity/desperation strikes. Decide to take all the short rows off the needles and unravel instead. Adrenaline rush overwhelms. You’ve never unraveled short rows this way before. All will likely go south rather quickly. It’s been nice knowing you, shawl.
  8. It works! Begin to unravel stitches with confidence. Fear turns to (over) confidence.
  9. You hear your name called through headphone bliss. Time to get your car. Already?!?! You glance between your knitting and tire attendant at the counter, torn. You note you have at least 100 live stitches that need attending. Dilemma overwhelms. Again note lack of wine.
  10. Gently set knitting down on chair, live stitches and all. Sign for car. Return to seat. Quickly put loose switches back on needles. Project will have to wait for another time. Not only are you under-exercised, but you’re under-knit. Worst case scenario.

Administrative Notes:

*Apparently knitting while consumed with watching Indian Summers (so good!) causes one to miss designated short row turn and instead causes knitter to turn work many stitches later without noticing the error of one’s ways until the subsequent day in above-referenced tire store sans wine. Not good.

**Why do vending machines not offer wine? Surely that should be standard issue in this modern age. Soda is overrated. I guess the water can stay though…

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24 Comments

  • Reply Kat with a K September 14, 2016 at 5:55 am

    This is perhaps the best post ever! Most definitely! And, yes tires stores should have wine and DRIVERS to take you safely home. The perfect solution! Hahaha!

  • Reply pumpkin sunrise September 14, 2016 at 6:07 am

    I thought I was subscribed but maybe I’m not….so I just did. When I’m on ravelry I’ll favorite as well 🙂

    I LOVE indian summers….why does Affrin do stupid things? the suspense just about kills me and I redid my baby sweater during the first episode of the second season….

  • Reply stephanie September 14, 2016 at 6:29 am

    i hate when i come away from a ‘knit-in’ in the negative. happens more than i’d like to admit!!!

  • Reply Jeannie Gray September 14, 2016 at 6:58 am

    Vending machine wine is an excellent idea, specially for tire, or any kind of automotive repair type place. Glad your shawl seems to have survived.

  • Reply Linda September 14, 2016 at 8:07 am

    Love this post! So true, so sad….

  • Reply itsallaboutpurple September 14, 2016 at 8:27 am

    hehehehehe, you are an awesome writer. as i read, i wonder if you “embellish” just a little?? you have a wonderful way with words and with presenting life!!!

    i did not know what “tink” was, i thought it was a trip to the ladies room. now i know it is “unknitting”!!

    i love this shade of purple!!!!

  • Reply itsallaboutpurple September 14, 2016 at 8:28 am

    ooooh and i have a few vending machine ideas myself. we should revamp the whole system!!!!

  • Reply Leannecoppola September 14, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    This is the most fabulous post ever. If you are a knitter, you understand every word of your story!!!!! and YES…wine in vending machines is a fabulous idea. Good luck with the shawl 🙂

  • Reply Caroline September 15, 2016 at 6:21 am

    Oh goodness, what a nightmare! I would have cried too. You were very brave to pull it back in the tire place. I think I would have burried it in my bag for another day. I need a sterile room to carry out a big unknitting task.

    • Reply Caroline September 16, 2016 at 12:59 am

      So last night I realised I had made a mistake on row 3 of a 16 row short row pattern on my new shawl. There was only one thing for it……..yes I had to rip the needle out, pull out the rows then pick up thankfully only 120 ish stitches. A single tear escaped but I was comforted knowing it happens to the best of us and it’s possible to save.

  • Reply Stefanie September 15, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    You are so controlled. I would have been !@#$% in the waiting room and have made all kinds of huffing noises.

  • Reply Casey September 15, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I feel like I’ve seen that they have wine in a can now, so maybe someday!

  • Reply Julie Crawford September 16, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    love the idea of a wine vending machine! Glad you figured out what went awry in your shawl, although come one tire place, timing is everything! They should have seen you were busy and held off for another 20 mins to give you some time. Faved your hat on Ravelry!

  • Reply Andi September 17, 2016 at 7:31 am

    Have to admit I almost needed a glass of wine while reading about the tinking and live stitches. 🙂 That would have me unhinged.
    Good thing you got it figured out.

  • Reply A Purple Shawl for Fall - This Knitted Life September 25, 2016 at 4:01 am

    […] be happy to know the purple yarn did indeed turn into a shawl, although, in all honesty, I may have spent more time unknitting and reknitting and than Just […]

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