Why Tire Stores Should Offer Wine

Mistakes that can occur while knitting short rows.

  1. Plan to go jogging during lunch break.
  2. Decided instead to go jogging after work while getting tires rotated. Both activities are long overdue.
  3. Further decide: screw that. Why jog when you can knit while waiting for tires to get rotated? Let’s get real here.
  4. Recommence short rows on your little purple shawl project while happily listing to NPR’s The Moth podcast via headphones. Pure delight. After several more short rows, you notice your poor, little shawl looks particularly lopsided.
  5. Count stitches on both sides of short rows. Cry a little bit. Okay, cry a lot. Conclude shawl is indeed very lopsided. The same number of stitches are not present on either end, as should be the case*. Something has gone dreadfully wrong. Brief period of pure knitting (tire store) bliss has sadly and prematurely concluded. Additionally: exercise has STILL not occurred. Desperately glance around waiting room for wine. Vending machines offer no wine**. Your only option is stale, over-buttered popcorn. In short, you are screwed.
  6. Snap commemorative picture prior to tinking. This may be the last time your shawl exists as something other than a knotted ball of yarn.
  7. Begin to tink. Quickly, you find yourself questioning your sanity. Tinking back three hours of short rows will clearly take forever (longer than three hours). Bravery/insanity/desperation strikes. Decide to take all the short rows off the needles and unravel instead. Adrenaline rush overwhelms. You’ve never unraveled short rows this way before. All will likely go south rather quickly. It’s been nice knowing you, shawl.
  8. It works! Begin to unravel stitches with confidence. Fear turns to (over) confidence.
  9. You hear your name called through headphone bliss. Time to get your car. Already?!?! You glance between your knitting and tire attendant at the counter, torn. You note you have at least 100 live stitches that need attending. Dilemma overwhelms. Again note lack of wine.
  10. Gently set knitting down on chair, live stitches and all. Sign for car. Return to seat. Quickly put loose switches back on needles. Project will have to wait for another time. Not only are you under-exercised, but you’re under-knit. Worst case scenario.

Administrative Notes:

*Apparently knitting while consumed with watching Indian Summers (so good!) causes one to miss designated short row turn and instead causes knitter to turn work many stitches later without noticing the error of one’s ways until the subsequent day in above-referenced tire store sans wine. Not good.

**Why do vending machines not offer wine? Surely that should be standard issue in this modern age. Soda is overrated. I guess the water can stay though…

Joining the Yarn Along and nearly done with A Man Called Ove.*  

I HAVE A HUGE FAVOR TO ASK!!! Did you happen to catch my Trintara hat pattern release over the weekend!!??!!  If not, please do check it out.  I was so happy to be able to offer this pattern to my cherished subscribers FOR FREE. I know many of you took advantage of the offer and downloaded the pattern (yahoo!). I would so greatly appreciate it if you could please add the pattern to your favorites in Ravelry.  Just click the little heart near the upper right hand corner! Thanks!!!

Also, weekly chats are still a thing over in my Ravelry group. Feel free to drop on by and say hey  in a more casual setting.

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